Cowblog - Derniers articles publiés, 13 May 2021 07:51:08 +0200600*

Mon, 10 May 2021 09:01:00 +0200
décès de Lama Tséwang Gyourmé du Bost
Décès de Lama Tséwang-la vendredi 07 mai 2021 lors de sa 4e retraite traditionnelle de 3 ans au Bost Kundreul Ling.

           Actuellement il est en absorption méditative post mortem (ToukDam(en tibétain)]]>
Sun, 09 May 2021 18:15:00 +0200
Anniversaire du XVII Gyalwa Karmapa Aujourd'hui, 06 mai 2021, anniversaire du Gyalwa Karmapa Thayé Dorjé

      au grand temple du Bost, à Dhagpo Kundreul Ling, Auvergne, Puy de Dôme.   
Thu, 06 May 2021 21:53:00 +0200
Are you lost in the world like me ?Sombre dans mes artères
Ne plus pouvoir respirer
Le coeur qui palpite, le cerveau est là et pourtant ailleurs

Un sentiment d'ennui


Ce truc qui ne peut pas guérir.
Il sera là, toujours. 

Je ne sais pas si j'ai vraiment envie. 

Je ne sais plus si j'ai vraiment envie.

De continuer, comme ça. 

Ce sentiment d'ennui sera toujours là. 
Ce sentiment de solitude
Cette envie de tout faire et de ne rien pouvoir faire à la fois. 
Ces sonorités insupportables, ce mouvement qui me fatigue. 

L'incompréhension du monde, des gens. 

ça n'a aucun sens. 

Non, ça n'a aucun sens. 

Se taire. 
Rire, un peu.
Toujours se taire.

Faire mine de. 

"Vous vous êtes toujours sentie comme ça, en décalage ?"
Depuis toute petite, à toutes les périodes de ma vie. 

"Il faudrait que vous fassiez des tests mais je pense que vous avez/"

Et le diagnostic tombe.

Comme une pierre sur ma tête. 
Comme des tonnes de pierres, et moi, ensevelie. 

On ne soigne pas ça avec des cachets.
Ni des thérapies. 
On ne soigne pas ça. 
On ne soigne pas.


Ce sera toujours là.
Toujours comme ça. 

Je serai toujours comme ça. 

Putain, merde, j'avais espéré. 

A quoi bon.

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 20:24:00 +0200
My journey with a pessary 
It's been many years i didn't wrote something, not because i couldn't but i had many challenge to gain.
in the meantime, i got married, i had a little girl my princess keke my adoring koala, i had another nephew, anyway
There have been lots of happy and sad events but all of them have marked my life in one way or another.
 Today I am pregnant with my second baby a boy, and this pregnancy is not the easiest to live with between fear and anxiety but we stay focus.
I would like to share my experience with the pessary which I discovered to exist during this pregnancy.
After having searched for a long time on google for information that could help me understand, accept this situation
without success, I decided to share my experience, my feelings every day or every week that can help someone who knows!!!!!
1. What is the arabin pessary?
As Google says: The Dr Arabin brand ASQ perforated cerclage pessary will have a cervical support role
uterus during pregnancy. It is usually prescribed for pregnant women in order to better
close the cervix and support it to reduce the risk of premature labor.
2. Why did I use it?
During the second ultrasound during the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, there was an internal opening of the cervix.
I'm not telling you the fear, the feeling of restlessness that filled me from head to toe, such a poignant feeling
that leaves you breathless. you do everything in a daze, without really knowing what it is all about
especially for someone like me who had never heard of it, it was a disaster for me. 
    It  was decided to keep me in the emergency room on monitoring in order to see how it evolves. Here I am interned for
how many days I don't know, I left my house without kissing my 19 month old baby, I just
said "see you later to my husband". My sisters, I just told them "we'll listen to each other later".  I felt devastated realizing how unforeseeable life is and at any time you can die and never see someone dear again, so you have to do everything every time to greet, say thank you, say I love you, hugs,
kissing because we don't know what fate has in store for us.
This famous January 15, it was decided to give me a bandage, but after discussion with the doctors there was too much
risk of perforating  the amniotic sac since I was in the 20th week of pregnancy, I discovered that at contrary to what we believe, at 5 months the baby can live in a roofer is very false, because if the cervix opens completely, it is considered an abortion, it is necessary to arrive at the 24th week so that the fetus ( because it's  still one) can be considered a super premature and legally livable. this news was a guillotine for me, I was so sad that I didn't know what to do or think at this precise moment no one could cheer me up, I was broken into 1000 pieces, with this virus there was no way to have visitors in the hospital.To be so sad to the point of not being able to cry, to ask questions especially " why?", "What have i done"  questions that have no answer in the head.
I was therefore offered to go back home since I had no problems apart from the contractions that could be blocked by progesterone plus absolute rest. Before my departure I was offered the pessary which was an alternative to the strapping that I could use without interventions. But for that I had to come back after a few days for a control. My journey therefore began with this possibility everyday and night to understand how it works and what it will do for me, the only thing I discovered was just the uterus support and the closure of the cervix, there was no guarantee at 100% but it was a possibility which offered itself to me and which did not include the possibility of perforating the amniotic sac.
 So I went home with many recommendations such as :I should not carry my daughter, nor cook, nor do anything. I had to be always in bed and only get up to go to the bathroom.
Thu, 29 Apr 2021 12:40:00 +0200
in life we ​​meet people with whom we walk a long way, others with whom we share some strong moments and we separate.
Others with whom the bond breaks but we continue to see each other.
     I had never experience this type of feeling  till some years now, you have this bitter aftertaste, sadness to realize
that overnight a person with whom you have shared everything, turns around and shows you such a face
shocking that you can't believe it.
     Managing this feeling is a difficult thing because you don't know what you expect from these people, because it's difficult to think about trust, nor of mutual support, life just follows its course of sad way? full of tears? I do not know but surely full of unsaid. Especially that, coming from me, there are things that I will never imagine, neither say nor think about this person and that until today I am still shocked and surprised at such a thought coming from these people.
     But losing a real friend I think it's losing part of yourself, because that person was part of you,
the rate of consideration that you had towards this person remains suspended in the air like freezing in the time since it was someone you turn first  to  for anything.
I do not know about you, but I do not wish anyone to find themselves in such a situation, and I advise to the extent of possible try to correct the  misunderstanding, at least try to do so. In my case it is so complicated that there is no way to do it.

Thu, 29 Apr 2021 11:24:00 +0200
si ce soir

Hé petit être tu pensais que je t'avais oublié ? surement un peu mais pas totalement ..  je relis ta forme papier quand la vie me fait me sentir fragile .. je te relis pour savoir qui j'étais et ce que je suis .. 
SI ce soir je reviens te parler c'est juste un hasard .. une musique .. une sensation .. les gestes d'autres fois qu'on pense oublier et qui reviennent .. 
l'envie de ta raconter un moment de ma vie .. une histoire achevée bien plus vite qu'elle n'a commencé ..
Il y a quelques nuits c'était une tente posée dans un coin de jardin .. la peau d'un autre contre la mienne .. les cheveux d'un autre sous mes doigts .. une douceur qui prend toute la place ... Je n'ai pas fuis son corps d'homme .. j'ai osé avouer une attirance naissante .. La réciproque ne fait pas partie de l'équation et pourtant mon coeur est en paix .. heureux d'avoir connu autre chose .. heureux de savoir qu'il est là bien vivant ..
mon crâne veut de l'encore .. toujours plus de sensations mais mon corps sait qu'aujourd'hui je ne veux plus le tuer .. aujourd'hui je suis son amie .. même si je dérape .. même si je ne le nourrit pas aussi bien qu'il le faudrait . il sait qu'il peut me faire confiance .. 
Dans me chambre au milieu de ma coloc les cartes postales sont toujours là .. mon van garé juste en bas .. les sourires au travail sont toujours plus fort que jamais .. les week end défilent .. les ballades .. les repas .. le jardin .. un tout qui se forme et une bulle est là .. 
Tu sais la vie toute bête je la vis .. je la sens .. j'ai les doutes qui se retirent et la place pour tout un possible encore ..
Il ne sera pas l'origine d'une histoire mais il sera autre chose .. parce que quand nos chemins se croisent la douceur de l'entente est là .. on le sait .. on le sent .. j'ai cru voir des choses qui n'existaient que dans mes yeux .. c'est ainsi]]>
Wed, 28 Apr 2021 21:43:00 +0200
Le président Carabistouille

Des minables qui jouent les dictateurs il y en a, mais Carabistouille (et ses sbires),
comme dirait l’autre, c’est une synthèse !
#presidentielle2022 #macronenzonzon #mediascollabos #youpicestleprintemps

Spotify, Deezer, MusicAmazon, Tidal, KKBox, Qobuz, 7Digital, MusicApple, MonkingMe, MusicYoutube, TikTok,
NetEase, Shazam, SoundCloud, Napster, Anghami etc.

Sat, 03 Apr 2021 12:59:00 +0200